St Clare's Primary School Harold's Cross Dublin 6W

Theme 2009: Empathy

empathy: the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person’s feelings….

Empathy is the ability to sense how someone else is feeling, to tune in to their emotional point of view. We don't have to agree with what the other person thinks - just to be sensitive to the way they feel, and to accept it.

Empathy is the ability to imagine the lives of others; it is fundamental social emotion because it brings a sense of emotional connection to others. It is this awareness that is not only basic to all healthy relationships; it is the root of kindness, generosity and peace. Empathy can be learned and improved upon by children. Children can learn to empathize ….. they can learn to imagine the lives of other beings.

Example:
Seven-year-old Josh returns to class after being absent for two weeks
with the flu. Although normally he comes to school happy, today he stands
close to his mother at the door, eyes filled with tears as he looks into
the room. One of the other children comes over and says, "It's okay, you're
just sad because it's hard to leave home after you've been out for so long.
That happens to me too."

Story books for children with themes of empathy:

1. Havill, J. (1995). Jamaica's Blue Marker. Illustrated by Anne Sibley O'Brien. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
Jamaica is happy that Russell is moving. He marks all over her picture, throws sand at her, and chases the other children at break time. When she realizes how Russell must feel about moving, she gives him one of her markers to use at his new school.

2. Havill, J. (1986). Jamaica's Find. Illustrated by Anne Sibley O'Brien. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
Jamaica finds a toy dog in the park and takes it home. After thinking about the toy, she brings it to the lost and found. At the end of the story, Jamaica finds the owner and reunites the child with the toy.

3. Hughes, S. (1997). Alfie and the Birthday Surprise. New York: Lothrop, Lee & Shepard.
When Smoky the cat dies, Bob, Alfie's neighbor is very sad. Alfie suggests that his family give Bob a birthday party with a new cat as a girl.

4. Fox, M. (1985). Wilfred Gordon McDonald Partridge. Illustrated by Julie Vivas. Brooklyn, NY: Kane Miller.
Wilford Gordon McDonald Partridge lives next door to an "old people's home."His favorite person to visit at the home is Nancy Alison Delacourt Cooper, who Wilford learns has lost her memory. Wilford asks the others at the home "What's a memory?" Based on the answers he receives, he develops a basket of objects which he hopes will help Nancy's memory.

5. Joosse, B. M. (1988). Better With Two. Illustrated by Catherine Stock. New York: HarperCollins.
Laura tries to cheer up her neighbor, Mrs. Brady, when the woman's dog dies. In time, Laura succeeds in cheering up her friend by sharing herself.

6. Keats, E.J. (1975). Louie. New York: Greenwillow.
Susie and Roberto put on a neighborhood puppet show. Louie, whom Susie and Roberto have never heard speak, falls in love with Gussie the puppet and speaks to it during the performance. The story ends with Louie being given the puppet.

7. Knox-Wagner, E. (1982). My Grandpa Retired Today. Illustrated by Charles Robinson. Niles, IL: Albert Whitman.
As Margey helps her grandfather clean up his barber shop for the last time, she empathizes with his separation from the shop as he retires.

8. McCourt, L. (1997). Chicken Soup for Little Souls: The Best Night Out With Dad. Illustrated by Bert Dodson. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications.
Danny is excited about seeing the circus again with his father. While queuing, Danny describes to a boy who has never been to the circus all of the wonderful shows. When it turns out that the boy and his father are unable to afford the price of admission, Danny decides to give the boy and his father his tickets. Danny and his father forego the circus and "shoot some hoops" for the evening.

9. Bennett, William J. (1993) The Book of Virtues: A Treasure of Great Moral Stories.
Stories on good character traits - compassion, courage, honesty, faith etc. Touchstone Books.

10. Frances H. Burnett (1911) The Secret Garden.
This story tells the tale of an orphaned girl, Mary Lennox, sent to live at Misselthwaite Manor in England with her invalid cousin after the abrupt death of her parents in India. Mary’s arrival and presence upsets her cousin, uncle and the entire manor staff. However, through her stubbornness and determination to explore the manor’s locked secret garden, she inspires Colin to walk again and brings happiness to everyone around her.


For Parents:

The Caring Child: How to Teach Empathy by Mary VanClay

Children Are Naturally Prone To Be Empathic And Moral
ScienceDaily (July 12, 2008) — Children between the ages of seven and 12 appear to be naturally inclined to feel empathy for others in pain, according to researchers at the University of Chicago, who used functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) scans to study responses in children:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/07/080711080957.htm

Developing Empathy in Families. Stephen J.Bavolek. The following activities and suggestions are adapted from this book:

Empathy and Caring: The link between empathy and caring - to feel with another is to care.

Some suggested activities:
1. Care for plants, pets, objects.
2. Role playing the role of the victim in a simulated reenactment of the hurtful situation.
3. Watch videotapes of victims telling how they felt being a victim.
4. Write about their offence from the victim’s point of view.

Children are more empathic when discipline included calling attention to the distress their misbehavior caused.

“Emotional Charades”
Taken from Adventures in Guidance
The point of this game is to communicate emotion nonverbally to a partner.Start by writing feeling words down on paper or cards, and then take turns drawing cards and acting out the feeling without the use of words.The other person tries to guess what feeling is being portrayed.Follow up each word with questions such as:

• How do you know when you are feeling happy/sad/angry?
• How do you let someone else know you feel happy/sad/angry?
• How do you know when someone else is feeling this way?
• What was it like to try to express that feeling without words?

Questions can be followed up with a discussion about when the child experienced these feelings or maybe saw someone else experience them, and what that was like for the child.

Pets
Having a pet can help a child develop empathy.Teaching a child to care for a pet and to show that pet kindness and compassion often translates into more empathetic human interactions for the child.This is a cooperative effort between parent/s and child, with the parent modeling empathetic behavior and teaching the child the proper way to care for the pet.